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Blair Needs… according to Google

Posted by on November 8, 2005

David issued the challenge, and I am responding to it. So here’s the deal… go to Google and type in [your name] and needs and see what kind of crazy list comes up. Apparently, according to Google

1. Blair needs humility.
My wife would probably agree to this one.

2. Blair needs to re-enter the Britain the rest of us inhabit.
Well, I am going to London during Spring Break… that has to count for something.

3. Blair needs a hug.
Very rarely will I turn one down.

4. Blair needs a dose of reality.
I prefer my own delusions, thank you very much.

5. Blair needs to channel Churchill.
I do enjoy a good cigar. Is that close enough? Churchill diid enjoy those, didn’t he?

6. Blair needs Bush’s support.
Well, don’t we all? Actually, with W.’s No Child Left Behind I have more than enough support, thanks.

7. Blair needs to learn lessons of terror.
Well, I am going to watch Saw 2 pretty soon. Is that enough?

8. Blair needs his foot soldiers.
I have no idea…

9. Blair needs German lessons.
My student who was born and reared in Germany is going to love this one…

10. Blair needs to be wiser.
No arguments from me on that one.

Okay, so now you try it. Go ahead… and if you have a blog, post the results. If not, post them here in a comment.

5 Responses to Blair Needs… according to Google

  1. Pooch

    All right, when FLIG first wrote about the Google + “needs” thing I thought he must have taken a trip around the bend … until I tried it. Granted the first attempt with “Pooch Needs” came up with a veritable laundry list of canine health, exercise, and feeding products. The Christian name reattempt was good for an immediate laugh:

    1. Drew needs to get its head out of its ass!
    FLIG, forgive me for profanity on your blog, but God as my witness, that was the quote. I have never actually been kicked in the head by a computer… until now. I mean sure I’ve lost hours of work and felt nauseous…worked for hours trying to fix sysadmin functions that left my blood pressure well above a need for valium….but a true kick in the head – never.

    2. Drew needs to shave
    Anyone who has met me knows that this is the truth. Five o’clock shadow starting at 8 AM. Of course, I do manage to keep my goatee a little neater than SOME people we know.

    3. Drew needs a woman to help him complete his transition into maturity
    Amen…thank God for Signey without whom I would be the poster child for Middle-aged Attention Deficit Disorder and …
    Want to go ride bikes? Is “Lost” starting soon?

    4. Drew needs seven rushing touchdowns to move into the top ten in school history
    Unfortunately, the school only had nine people in it.

    5. Drew needs to be fixed because over one million lives depend on it.
    My owner’s taking me to the vet to get tutored!

    6. Drew needs lots of love and affection.
    Absolutely… but don’t we all

    7. Drew needs to learn by experience and is constantly testing limits
    I did this a lot more when I was younger. To quote a very wise old pilot, “Every pilot starts out with two bags: one is empty for experience, the other is full of luck. The only way to become an OLD pilot is to fill the bag of experience before the other runs out.”

    8. Drew needs to know: Do you think I am funny? God yes. You crack me up.
    But I’m easy so don’t go taking all the credit :)
    (That post from, which makes me think they need to climb out of the basement and kiss a girl before Star Wars goes out of vogue)

    9. Drew needs to keep up with the trend
    Does that mean I can’t wear my bell bottoms any more? I’m sure they’ll come back into fashion again.

    10. Drew needs to live for something other than shoes and career.
    Back to #6, don’t we all. The least fulfilling times in life are when I (we?) let “things” and ego or self-importance get in the way of what matters the most in life…family, love, in short #6.

    There were plenty more, but these 10 certainly had me (and my wife!) rolling on the floor. Thanks again FLIG for a great blog and your uncanny ability to truly touch people even through something as impersonal as the Internet.


  2. the wifey

    Miranda’s needs according to Google:

    1. Miranda needs help again!!! oh my!!!
    2. Miranda needs her mommy, and wants to share Christmas with her!
    3. Miranda needs to pipe down a smidge.
    4. Miranda needs last-minute reservations for hip New York City eateries
    5. Miranda needs to be with family and is shocked to be falling for another man
    6. Miranda needs a reality check.
    7. Miranda needs to purchase a new, highly trained Service/Specialty dog.
    8. Miranda needs a break or must get dinner on the table.
    9. Miranda needs a bit of a revamp.
    10. Miranda needs time away, time to rest and take some photos of the summer sunsets.

    Some of the ones that came up I could not post here. I would be censored! Wow, I certainly do NEED 9 & 10!


    Heathre Needs Men …Now!
    I would like to point out that it says mEn NOW…not mAn LATER

    Heathre Needs Two Therapists
    Because I’m so messed up one just won’t do it

    Heathre needs a rest
    I spend my nights at wild parties sniffing crack so this is pretty much true…

    Heathre needs a childhood
    Yes, unfortunately I was a poor black child who had to sing to bring money to the family. I missed out on so much that I grew up to be an overly white man who enjoys the company of small children…

    Heathre Needs a Bicycle

    Heather needs to jump on the bandwagon
    Nobody should jump on the bandwagon…bandwagons are for losers who don’t have a unique bone in their body…Fortunately for me all my bones are unique

  4. Sarah C.

    9. Blair needs German lessons.
    My student who was born and reared in Germany is going to love this one…

    *giggles* Why yes, yes you do! lol And for a
    -ahem- small fee… why Who better to provide them for you? Hehe…. J/k Mr. A.

  5. Andrea Hildensperger

    Andrea needs to be able to create written material.
    Andrea needs time to relax.
    Andrea needs to spend the rest of her life in prison
    Andrea needs all her wits and all the help she can to stop the perpetrators.
    Andrea needs to get an agent
    Andrea needs some help coming up with stalker songs.

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