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Why I Need Her

Posted by on May 13, 2008

Recently, Miranda and I have been intentional about trying to do a devotional together on a regular basis. We are not legalistic about it, but we are trying to do it more nights than not. In other words, we are sensitive to the mood of one another. If one of us is too tired or frustrated after a long day, we might just say a quick prayer instead of reading the devotional and discussing it.

I think the part of the devotional that I like best are the discussion points down at the bottom of each. Each page starts with a scripture, and then one of the authors (a husband and wife team) offers some thoughts about the topic. After the author’s thoughts, there is a usually a question or statement for starting discussion between the husband and wife.

The past two nights, we have read about our need for one another. The authors pointed out that sometimes it is difficult for husbands and wives to admit their need for one another. To be honest, I am sure I struggle with many things in life (and many things in my marriage as well), but I don’t think I really struggle with admitting my need for my bride. Last night’s devotion challenged us to take the general (admitting our need for one another) and make it specific (why do we need one another). We were challenged to write a list of specific reasons why we need one another.I hope she doesn’t mind my choosing to do this in a public forum, but I have decided to write my five reasons here. (If I get in trouble, I will let you know!)

I need Miranda because she offers a different point of view. She often challenges me to see situations and people from a point of view that doesn’t come naturally to me. By doing this, she often causes me to see things in a more realistic way than I am naturally prone to.

I need Miranda because she is my best friend. The fact is, I like people. I truly enjoy them, and I tend to be drawn to them wherever I go. I want to know their names and their stories… EVERYBODY’S story. I like knowing the name of the gay guy who rings up my purchases at the gas station when I am on my way to class at AUM, and I like hearing more of my waitress’s story… what brought her from a life in Italy to waiting tables in Prattville? Even though my life is filled with friendly acquaintances and some close friends, Miranda alone knows me completely. She is not only my friend, she is my best friend. When something wonderful happens in my day, she is the one that I want to tell. When something horrible happens, she is the one I want to be with.

I need Miranda because she knows me completely, and she accepts me. All of my life, I have struggled with acceptance. Some people may find complete acceptance with their families of origin, but I have never felt completely accepted there. I am casting no stones… I am sure that I am as much to blame for that as anyone else. Nevertheless, the fact remains that my family of origin has never been a place where I have felt accepted completely. Various groups of friends over the years have offered various levels of acceptance, and I am certainly appreciative of that. However, only my bride knows me completely… and accepts me. That acceptance brings a level of comfort and intimacy that is unrivaled.

I need Miranda because she is my partner. When I proposed to Miranda, I told her that every dream I had for the future involved her… that I couldn’t picture any part of the future without her by my side. I still can’t. Every dream… personal, spiritual, professional… she is my partner. She is right there by my side, and together we can face anything.

I need Miranda because she is my other half. Scripture refers to the two becoming one, and I don’t believe that this is just a lovely little metaphor for sex. I believe that a married couple does in fact become something new when they marry, and I honestly believe she is my other half. I told her recently that I would rather die than live without her, and I didn’t mean that in any kind of dysfunctional, unhealthy way. If God gave me a choice between living with only half a body or dying and going to heaven… then take me to heaven. I am not talking about half of my body being paralyzed…. I am talking about half of my body being physically REMOVED…. like the left half from the top of my head to the soles of my feet…. GONE. What kind of life could I live as half a man? I feel the same way about Miranda… she is not merely my wife, she is truly the other half of who I am. Just as I can’t imagine living with half a head, half a torso, one arm, one butt cheek, one leg…. I can’t imagine a life without her in it.

So what about you? Why do you need your spouse?

Updated at 10:13 p.m. – Miranda had her list ready to share tonight… she just didn’t post it on her blog. :)

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